Monthly Archives: June 2012

The World Is Not Enough (Or Too Much…)

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No, I’m not talking about James Bond, yet again. But I already mentioned Skyfall (which, I’ll probably have to re-name my book but it’s Skyfall to me, so for now, it’s staying that way…) so I thought I’d just go with it.

I haven’t had a chance to write anything because my summer classes are completely overwhelming me. I’m amazed at how much my professor expects us to get done each week and I don’t know how I would have handled three, so I’m glad I only ended up in one.

I did write a lot the other night, though. I was so proud of myself. Instead of typing it out like I usually do, I wrote it in my little blue notebook. Maybe I’m trying to channel Garth Nix… but no, I did not use a fountain pen. I actually really liked it, I’ve heard that actually writing out the first draft is best, because staring at a blank computer screen isn’t great for inspiration. I wasn’t concentrating on word count, I was just thinking about what I was writing and putting it down on the page.

I do need to type it all out so I know how long it actually is, though. And in case I somehow manage to lose the little blue notebook, which, knowing me, may happen. And then I would probably bawl my eyes out because the entirety of everything I’ve written in that book exists only there, and I’d lose all of those scenes forever because I don’t think I could re-create them as well as I first wrote them.

Anyway, getting back to the post title, I feel like the scope of the world of my book is getting out of control. At first, I assumed there would be three books. The first one I have all planned out, and the beginning, end, and various middle pieces are all written, I just need to fill in the holes. Except that recently, pieces that I thought were going to be part of the second book have been pushing their way into the first because I realize they make more sense there.

Then I realize everything that needs to happen and it’s just… outrageous. The number of characters that I have to deal with is equally daunting, but they’re all important to the plot. They even leave me room to write individual books about each of them because the story is so complex. I guess that’s good though, because I won’t be stuck, but it’s getting difficult for me to keep track of things in my brain. I wish there was an easier way to do it, but I really want to lay out every single scene in a row on the floor and look it over, and then be able to move the pieces like a jigsaw puzzle if necessary.

I can’t tell if it’s getting easier or harder to put the narrative together as I write more!

How to Write a Novel* in 40 Non-Patented, Super Easy-to-Follow Steps

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As perfected for 3+ years, by yours truly. Yes, it’s long. But if you’re truly dedicated to your procrastination, as I am, you’ll make it all the way to the bottom.

1. Graduate from High School, thinking that the world is your oyster.

2. Get a job working at a pool, where you will spend your entire summer smelling sunscreen and hanging out with really tan underage lifeguards.

3. Have a strange half-dream one night about people sleeping in an alley next to dumpsters and decide “WAIT. THIS IS SO INSPIRING. I’M GOING TO WRITE A BOOK.” And jot the scene down still half asleep, thinking it’s going to win you a Pulitzer. (Then think about Lilly Pulitzer, and then go buy an agenda to help you organize your life.)

4. Inform every single person you know that you will be writing a book.

5. Write some scenes from the book, and then realize it can never be published, ever, because everything you’ve written so far is basically a memoir of your life with names swapped out, and those people will definitely know it’s about them, and that you wrote it, no matter what name you publish it under. (Because clearly, it’s going to become so big that EVERYONE will be reading it, and then they’ll know which character is them, and that would be really awkward despite the fame and riches and therefore not worth it.)

6. Make a website for yourself using what you think is a clever pseudonym, based on Dorothy Parker but with a cooler first name. (For extra points spend lots of money on a domain name and cool publishing host.)

7. Go back to school in the fall and not write a single word, but tell people how much you’re suffering by not having the time to write, despite watching The Vampire Diaries and Gossip Girl obsessively.

8. Once it’s summer again, go back to the pool and wait for inspiration to strike.

9. Decide that most writers are drunken messes (not sure where this stereotype came from…) and then drink heavily and sympathize with Jay Gatsby. (Bonus: text all of your friends about this at 2 a.m.)

10. Realize your fancy website has expired and you just wasted your money because nothing ever happened with it.

11. Decide that it’s okay because one day, you’ll be a millionaire. (Or a billionaire, like Bruno Mars.) Then make a playlist for inspiration.

12. Watch The Secret obsessively, and wonder how credible the guy with the dreadlocks who calls himself a doctor is.

13. Develop a Michael Fassbender obsession and Netflix every single movie he’s ever been involved with, then force all of your friends to watch them with you, no matter how strange the movie.

14. Decide that it’s your destiny to try every single kind of Red Velvet dessert within a 50 mile radius.

15. Realize that your Michael Fassbender obsession was a little bit creepy and slightly inappropriate, and that X-Men, First Class really wasn’t worth seeing five times in theatres.

16. Make a Shark Week countdown and then request the entire week off from work.

17. Read $0.99 Kindle books obsessively, and then complain to your friends about the quality of said books, then wonder why no one ever wants to read your book suggestions.

18. Research the House of Hohenzollern and become obsessed with the Black Forest in Germany. (Wikipedia = quality research.)

19. Get really upset that Ancient Aliens is no longer on the History Channel, but History 2, and you don’t get History 2 except on On Demand, so your Giorgio Tsoukalos obsession will have to be content with Ancient Aliens and the Third Reich because that’s the only episode on On Demand.

20. Become obsessed with The Veldt – both the song and the short story, and then become re-obsessed with The Lottery, The Most Dangerous Game, Utopia, etc.

21. Tell everyone about your obsession with The Veldt, and then try and convince them to read a story about children killing their parents by trapping them in a virtual room with real lions. Hey, people want to read about teenagers killing each other, why not parents and lions?

22. Creep around your house – and your parents’ house for books to send in to Amazon to get gift card credit, even if it’s only 49 cents. Hey, that’s almost half a book.

23. Obsessively organize your blog, then purchase yet another domain name for this one and then promise that you’ll actually get somewhere, because now you look more professional. Also inquire on Etsy about personalized business cards with your snazzy new “logo” thing that you made the other night for four hours:

24. Listen to The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald for two weeks straight, causing everyone you know to wonder if you’re actually a 65 year-old trapped in a 20 year-old’s body.

25. Creep obsessively all over Garth Nix’s twitter and blog, hoping some of the genius that inspired you to write in the first place will rub off on you. Also decide to get a Waterman’s fountain pen because that’s what Garth uses. (And what he used to write the postcard you begged his agent to send you.)

26. Go out and buy a notebook to write in, because when you’re famous you can take pictures of it like Garth did and people will ooh and ahh over it.

27. Watch every episode of Ghost Hunters and Ghost Adventures ever filmed. Then cry over Grant’s departure from Ghost Hunters and wonder why that guy from Ghost Adventures has Pokemon trainer hair.

28. Go to the mall and then have your friend who works at Nordstrom find you clothes that you don’t actually need – because you’re always at the pool working, you don’t need clothes for the outside world – and spend $82 there.

29. Develop a Chris Hemsworth obsession.

30. Think heavily about signing all of your friends up for email subscriptions of your blog by logging out and then typing in each one individually. Hey, you’re doing them a favor. This way, the emails will be sent automatically, without you nonchalantly including links at the bottom of each email you send, hoping one day they’ll click it. (Or that they won’t, because then they’ll just think that you’re actually crazy and maybe schizophrenic and de-friend you.)

31. Re-read your favorite books and then tell everyone how passionate you are about each of the characters and how touching their life stories are (Bonus points make this your phone background, for inspirational purposes: *MOCKINGJAY SPOILERS BELOW! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED*:

32. Develop a tumblr addiction.

33. Develop a twitter addiction.

34. Tell everyone how tortured you are that your book is taking so long to finish.

35. Think heavily about running away to Australia (for inspirational purposes, of course) and then decide not to because your parents would probably call the U.S. Embassy in Australia and have you carted back, never to visit the land down under ever again because you violated some sort of immigration law, just like in Like Crazy. And then you’ll never meet your hot Australian soul mate, so scratch that whole plan.)

36. Search in vain for Ancient Aliens on TV, only to spend 9 hours watching the entirety of the Hatfields & McCoys made-for-TV miniseries.

37. Become re-obsessed with Emily Maynard, wonder why she looks like a barbie, and then tell everyone you know how much you love Arie but hate Kalon despite the fact that he entered on a helicopter and always looks like he’s wearing lip gloss. Update: Jef is what’s up. Sure, he hates extra consonants and has interesting hair, but that can totally be overlooked.

38. Make sure your room is as messy as possible – because that’s the optimal work environment, and you need to write, so you don’t have time for cleaning.

39. Try and clean your room, because you just can’t work in these conditions. Your novel will be done in two days if your room is clean.

40. Give up and go to Starbucks, then realize you’re too overly-caffeinated to do anything but stare at a poster on the wall and wonder why the music is so bad/loud. Rinse, lather, and repeat steps 38-40 as necessary.

Oh and then, as a final step, (or intermittent, really) write this blog post. Happy Novel* writing!

*By “Write a Novel”, I mean sort of write a novel. Not actually having something tangible to show people. Just you know, awkward bits and pieces that only make sense in your head with only a Hemsworth/Tsoukalos obsession to show for it. But it’s okay, because according to The Secret, imminent success is just around the corner.

Character Hunting on Tumblr

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Yes, you heard me. Character hunting. I know that sounds extremely strange, but some of  my best inspiration comes from Tumblr. Why? Sometimes I’ll be mindlessly scrolling through my dashboard full of pictures, when suddenly, I see a picture of a random person and I think “Oh my god! That looks just like [insert character name here]!” and then I just have to reblog it. This has happened so many times, in fact, that I now have an entire page dedicated to my characters (and other inspirational images) via Tumblr to make it easier for myself. Here are examples for the main characters, Charlie and Olivia:

I also really like scrolling through that page and just looking at everything I have that reminds me of people, places, objects, etc., in my book. It’s kind of like my own little secret world is actually coming to life before my eyes. I say secret because with the manuscript unpublished, I’m the only one that really knows what it looks like. But you can get a feel for how the book is going to be, and what the characters are like by scrolling through it. A few of my close friends have read part of the manuscript so far, and then I’ve directed them to the page on Tumblr afterwards, and they say that it really is neat to see after they’ve read it because they get to see what might be to come, etc. I think it’s very good for description, so that I remember to be descriptive enough so that people don’t have to look through my pictures, but they can if they’d like to.

Everyone tried to get me to jump on the whole Pintrest train, but my Tumblr is already set up sort of that way, and I just feel like it would be redundant to do both.

I’ve noticed that when “tagging” photos of my characters, I tend to tag pictures that not only remind me of them physically, but of their personality as well. While organizing them today I also had a realization that with Paul, I tagged two photos at completely different times, and then looked at them today, and the guys in the photos could actually be the same person. He might be a model, and I have no idea who he is, so it very well may actually be the same person, I have no idea. It could just be two people who look very much alike:

But that is quite funny and reassuring for me to see that in my head, the characters are so steadfast that this happened.

Now, I should probably stop procrastinating and actually start writing.

In other news, I purchased my domain name! Yay! In the process of buying it I also discovered that my name with two “L”‘s, aka Lilly Paradis, is a French lingerie company, so let’s hope my readers don’t get me confused with them… definitely not the same industry.

In other, other news, yesterday I realized that my manuscript that I started three years ago has the same name as the new James Bond film, so that may sadly have to be changed, but I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. Daniel Craig is definitely not in my book. Although he might make an interesting Peter! (But you’ll have to read to find out who that is…)

Finding the Time (and Proper Mood…) to Write

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Screaming children. Whistles blowing. A steady stream of cards to scan and questions to answer. The phone is constantly ringing, and my scrutinizing boss could walk in at any moment. This is what my summer job, working front desk at the CC is like. I’ve worked here for three years, and the first year I worked here was really what sparked the idea for my book. Granted, the book isn’t about a pool, it was just something about the people here, along with some other things happening in my life at the time that caused the characters to stroll into my head while I tried to sleep at night.

Some days, when the weather is bad, hardly anyone comes and I sit here for my shift at the desk trying to pass the time. I used to read books on my Kindle and basically use up all of the money I was making on books to read. I loved doing that, it was like I was getting paid to read. (Well, when you subtract the money actually spent on the books, but okay, it wasn’t THAT much…)

I’m kind of in a book rut right now and I can’t seem to find anything, so if you have any suggestions, I’d love that!

Anyway, so you ‘d think that instead of reading other people’s books, I could just write my own. However, that’s far easier said than done. I make excuses that I’m constantly interrupted, or that my workspace isn’t adequate, since the counter barely has half a foot to work with in front of the keyboard, and my little notebook makes my hand cramped when I try and write in that space. And then I think, really? I’m really letting this stop me. I think that some part of me is afraid that the quality of my writing will suffer if I do it in a non-ideal place. But then again, I think real writers should be able to write anywhere, regardless of conditions. Didn’t J.K. Rowling scribble pieces of Harry Potter on napkins in a cafe?


Here’s to my little desk space complete with journal with scribbled scenes, gummies that some lifeguard gave me, and Kindle Fire open to Catherine Ryan Howard’s new book on self publishing. Yes, this is my summer.

Then I get home and realize I have no time to write because I need to re-organize my room (yes, I still haven’t unpacked from when I moved) and go to the gym, and the various other little things I need to do with my life. The only time I seem to find to write is at 3am, and then I can either go to sleep, or try to write something. Clearly, I’m too scared to write something, but I’d better start soon, considering I’ve been working on this book for nearly three years, and I’d really like it to be finished. I find myself wishing I could watch a movie of my characters or read the book already finished so I can know what happens, and then I realize that I’m the only person on earth that can make that happen. Wish me luck!